The Writings of Beaver Cleaver
EDITOR-IN-CHEIF: Beaver Cleaver
There was a dog fight at Vista Drive.
The frozen stick ice cream man was around yesterday and also Johnny, the ice cream man was around yesterday. If they both come around again tomorrow, buy it from Johnny.
The Most Interesting Character I Have Ever Known, by Beaver Cleaver
Revised by Wally:
Monday: Went to school. Came home. Had Lunch. Ate it.
The Duck & The Bear poems: Episode #36, Beaver's Poem
One I wished I was a duck
I would like to be a bear
Dear Miss Canfield,
I have received your note dated two days ago, the one sent home with Theodore. I have whipped him, his father has whipped him. He is sorry, we are very sorry.
Mrs. Ward Cleaver
Treasure Island report: Episode # 89, Beaver's Library Book
to get back on bus by Wally: Episode #79, School Bus
of Resignation: Episode #104, The Club
Composition: Episode #110, Mother's Day Composition
Oath: Episode #115, Beaver and Ivanhoe
The For Sale ad:
Episode #88, Beaver's Prize
Forged note: Episode $156, Substitute Father
Dear Miss Landers,
We are all shocked by what the Beaver said. Especially my wife who is a lady. I have washed his mouth out with soap and have beat him up three time. Because I have done this good, I won't have to come down to school.
Ward Cleaver, Theodore's father
Prisoner's Letter: Tell it to Ella
On school nights my parent won't let me go out, they say it makes my schoolwork suffer, but all my friends can go out on school nights. I think they are being unfair. What do you think? Signed Prisoner.
I agree with your parents, if your school work is suffering, you should stay home on school nights and just see your friends on weekends - Ella
Lost Dog Ad: Beaver and Poncho.
I found a dog. The dog is brownish with no hair. I got the dog from my friend Larry but it was not his because Whitey found him in his garbage pail. If the dog you lost is the one I found, I'm the one who found it. Signed Beaver Clear.
Found Wallet Ad and Reply: Beaver Find a Wallet
I found a green wallet in the gutter with 89 dollars in it. It was on Grant Ave. near tenth street on Saturday and if you lost it, you can get it at the Mayfield Police Station. Signed Theodore Cleaver.
Dear Mrs. Tomkin, Thank you for sending me the radio for finding your wallet in the gutter. Everytime I play the radio or it wakes me up, I will think about you. I hope you will also think about me sometimes. Yours truly, Theodore Cleaver.
The Three Musketeers Book Report: Book Report
The three Musketeers by Alexander Dumas. The story start in Paris when D'Artagnan meets these other fellow and after awhile they begin singing up and down the street and they all go into this hotel, where the three funny guys. They all started plucking chickens and throwing the feathers all over the place, then a whole bunch of policemen showed up and there was a big fight. Now the Musketeers find out that Lord Buckingham is plotting against the country, so the Musketeers take after the Lord on horseback and chase him across the country, but just as they are about to catch him, they come to a windmill and it knocks the three Musketeers off their horses and then they grab onto the windmill and Lord Buckingham turn it up real fast and they go spinning around and around and finally they go flying over a barn into a haystack.
The Autobiography of Theodore Cleaver by Theodore Cleaver: from Beaver's Autobiography, Episode #200
I was born in the middle of the African jungle. My father was a famous newspaper correspondent and was writing a story about some cannibals, my mother went with him to make sure they didn't eat him alive or something like that, so that's why I was born there. When I was little I played with all the cannibal kids and their monkey friends, it was real fun especially when they went out headhunting. Sometimes it was very hard to find enough head for everyone, so some of the kids let me play with their heads, that was real neat. When I was a little bigger, the King and Queen of England asked my father to come over to England to have tea and crumpets with them because they were such good friends. So my mother and I went with him. We lived with them in Windsor Castle for a long time and I got to be real good friends with their little boy Charlie. Everybody else called him Prince Charles. Then my father was sent to interview the Sultan of Morocco, so we rode on camels for 30 days, bouncing up and down.
Horse for Sale Ad: from A Horse Named Nick
Horse for sale - genuine circus horse for sale, intelligent, does not eat much. Very cheap, blanket included, can do tricks like playing dead.
My most exiting experience by Theodore Cleaver - third grade. My most exciting experience was last summer. I went fishing, I went to Crystal Falls. My father and mother and brother went to Crystal Falls. My father caught four fish, my brother caught for fish, I caught on fish and my mother didn't catch any fish because she stayed on the dock with the lunch.
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