Parenting Techniques

Youngsters were constantly reminded their social responsibility started in the home. Therefore, teaching children proper moral behaviour required input from the parents. As noted previously, the series was really classified as an adult program shown through the eyes of a child. As a result, Connelly and Mosher devoted an equal amount of time and effort to provide advice to parents to help them establish proper parenting techniques. The writers advocated modern parenting methods to show parent how to deal with the problems associated with child rearing.

On of the most influential advocates of modern, or permissive, parenting methods was Dr. Benjamin Spock. In the post-war years, Dr. Spock's book Baby and Child Care was used by numerous families for assistance in raising children. Connelly and Mosher incorporated many of Spock's ideas into their program as advice for parents. Therefore, the parenting techniques advocated by the writers of Leave It To Beaver will be discussed in terms of their connection to Spock's advice.

The four categories established for discussion are very broad and encompass a wide variety of situations, as well as child-rearing techniques and messages for parents. (Please see Appendix "G" for the listing of parental messages contained in the programs.) The first classification examines the need for parents to support, understand, trust and protect their children. The next category looks at parental accountability in terms of social and familial responsibility. The third most frequently repeated message told mothers and fathers it was permissible to make parenting mistakes, and that reference to their own childhood would enable them to respond to, and understand, their children. The final category suggested parents avoid excessive interference, and keep their expectations for children in line with their abilities. In other words, parents were not to live their lives vicariously through their children.

Leave It To Beaver suggested the primary task for parents was to love and protect their children. In the Cleaver household, Ward and June accomplished this by providing support in an understanding manner. There was always a concerted effort to involve themselves in their offspring's lives through conversation. Usually this occurred at the dinner table when the family discussed the day's events. However, on other occasions, the fatherly lecture successfully resolved an issue and the boys learned to comply with their parents wishes.

Ward and June closely followed Spock's advice to parents. While there are numerous examples from Baby and Child Care, three specific quotations from Spock's book are provided as examples of how Spock advised parents to deal with their children. "The real issue is what spirit the parent puts into managing the child and what attitude is engendered as a result." "…Parents can't feel right towards their children in the long run unless they can make them behave reasonably, and children can't be happy unless they are behaving reasonably." "Firmness, by keeping children on the right track, keeps them lovable. And they love us for keeping them out of trouble." Ward and June put every effort into managing children, making them behave reasonably, and keeping them on the right track by supporting, understanding, trusting and protecting Wally and Beaver.

The program also taught the adult audience to reach their children through rational discourse. Depending upon the severity of the situation, there were times when the boys required some disciplinary action to reinforce the verbal message, but there were never any occasions where either child was physically punished. Punishment usually took the form of being sent to their bedroom, and being deprived of certain privileges such as attending movies, or being unable to watch television.

The writers of Leave It To Beaver, adopted Spock's approach to discipline. On the topic of corporal punishment, Spock stated,

He went on to say, "you come to punishment (if you use it al all) once in a while when your system of firmness breaks down…. I'm not particularly advocating spanking, but I think it is less poisonous that lengthy disapproval, because it clears the air, for parent and child." Essentially, Spock left it up to the parents to decide whether or not to impose corporal punishment. The tone of his writing certainly suggested that spanking was a last resort and a loving environment was far more important and beneficial to encourage proper behaviour.

Coupled with the necessity to teaching the child to respect their parent's rules, was the need to promote a sense of responsibility. There were two different types of responsibility advocated in the program, familial obligation and social accountability. Within the family, parents were encouraged to inculcate a strong sense of kinship ties. Children were to feel comfortable and secure in the knowledge they could always rely on their parents to help them in times of difficulty. Some programs showed parents how to teach children to respect their family, while others displayed how well the children had learned the lessons.

Social accountability involved the larger community. Parents were told it was their responsibility to teach their children to respect others and to treat them in a manner consistent with their upbringing. Any disillusionment the boys encountered in their interaction with outsiders was always offset by the love and protection afforded by their parents. The message for parents was clear. If all children were taught to respect and revere others, it would reduce dissension and create a homogeneous community where all could expect to be treated fairly and with compassion.

While protecting children from outsider was one aspect of parenting fulfilled by Ward and June, they were also involved in the community. June attended PTA meetings, was active in women's groups and collected for charity, while Ward was involved in the Mayfield Youth Committee. By placing Ward and June in situations where they protected their family, and contributed to society, the writers were able to advocate the importance of social responsibility both within and outside the family.

The messages contained in Leave It To Beaver meshed nicely with Spock's advice on this topic. "Our only realistic hope as I see it is to bring up our children with a feeling that they are in this world not for their own satisfaction, but primarily to serve others. Children are proud to think they can be truly useful and will rise to the challenge." Spock also suggested that "…in family conversations children should hear their parents' concerns about problems of the community, the nation, the world. The should see that their parents are contributing directly to the solutions - by participating in the work of churches and welfare committees, for instance, belonging to concerned groups, making sizeable contributions of money."

In keeping with the idea of fairness and compassion, the writers also strongly promoted the idea that parents look to their own childhood for solutions to the problems they encountered with their offspring. There were two reasons for advocating this parenting technique. First, parents were reminded they were human beings subject to making mistakes. Second, by reminiscing about their adolescence, parents could recall how their mothers and fathers handled a similar situation.

Ward and June occasionally erred as parents out of love, but this usually resulted in the fact they learned something from their children. In many instances, Ward and June reminisced about their adolescence and recalled how their parents handled a specific situation - usually it was not handled well. They would then suggest an alternate technique to correct what the obviously felt were deficiencies in their own upbringing.

It is also important to note that Ward and June's parents were never seen, nor was their absence explained. Possibly, they were eliminated to prevent dissension and acrimony. In other words, the idea that Wally and Beaver submit to parental authority would be undermined if Ward and June did not listen to their own parent's advice regarding child-rearing. However, for contrast, the writers did include two relatives, one from each side of the family, Ward's Uncle Billy, and June's Aunt Martha.

Uncle Billy was a flamboyant, irresponsible bachelor who could be counted on as a source of cash for birthdays and Christmas. His monetary gifts were not to be saved for college; rather the boys were expected to spend the money frivolously. Aunt Martha, on the other hand, was a spinster who advocated 'old fashioned', strict parenting methods. Unlike Uncle Billy, her gifts were always practical and this earned her the distinction of being referred to as 'the umbrella aunt'. Billy's permissiveness and Martha's strictness allowed the writers to show alternate child-rearing techniques from opposite ends of the spectrum. By using aunts and uncles, rather than parents, the viewer was given the opportunity to see the advantages of adopting Ward and June's middle of the road approach to parenting without undermining parental authority.

In keeping with parental authority, one of the most important messages relayed to the viewing audience was the need to allay the fears of children and encourage youngsters to talk to their parents. June frequently reminded Ward that it is parents who make children afraid because they are fearful of the consequences. Parents were reminded that children were naturally afraid when they did something wrong. Therefore, the role of mothers and fathers, as authority figures, was not to scare children, but rather to provide support, understanding and help through effective communication.

This idea was on keeping with Dr. Spock's sentiments. To alleviate the child's distress when he has to face the consequences of having done something wrong, Spock says

Spock obviously believes the child will understand the disciplinary action is intended to curb the offensive behaviour, but should not frighten the child to the extent he/she is afraid to come to his/her mother or father.

The final message the writers of the program relayed to parents was the need to understand how their children were individuals with specific attributes and traits. Mothers and fathers need to realize and respect their youngster's limitations, and not try to live their lives vicariously through their children. In addition, there was a strong caution about excessive interference in their children's affairs. Parents had a responsibility to protect their offspring, but sometimes had to tread a fine line between interfering and leaving the child to sort out problems on their own.

The child-rearing techniques and messages for parents suggested by Connelly and Mosher closely paralleled the ideas advocated by Dr. Spock. Parents were to provide a warm and nurturing environment for children. They had an obligation to teach social and familial responsibility. Mothers and fathers were also reminded they were subject to human frailties. And as such, must be aware of their own shortcomings when dealing with their children. Finally, they were told they must temper their expectations to ensure they did not place excessive demands on their children.

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